1: I was pre-occupied on the toilet.

2: Just stare blankly at them.

3: I went to find chips at the bottom of the freezer and got stuck, it took me an hour to defrost.

4: What PDP?

5: I didn't put my clock forward.

6: I got stuck in traffic.

7: I jammed my door so you couldn't get in, forgot and couldn't get out.

8: I fell asleep in the wardrobe and didn't know where I was, I was scared.

9: My Legs broke down.

10: I needed a wash, put myself in the machine, took longer to dry than I first thought.

11: When asked why you wasn't there, speak in a different language.

12: Alice took me to wonderland.

13: My snowman melted, I was still grieving.

14: I went to my cash in hand job that I'm not allowed to tell you about.

15: Oops I did it again!.

16: You gave me an eviction notice last week and the week before, didn't see the point.

17: I thought I was dying, my mistake.

18: I was playing on my X-Box, Lost track of time I think I'm addicted. Do they have support groups for that Kind of thing?

19: I sat there for 10 minutes. You were late, I have an important social life to be getting on with.

20: I was trying to smuggle a 3rd guest in, we decided to use the window, they got stuck I had to ring 999 it took them ages to take apart the window and the whole time I was standing in front of the camera.

21: I was having a Bad hair day, I tried to fix it, it took until the next day.

22: I thought I was the only human left on the planet I didn't realise it was a dream until I got a knock on the door, even then it took a while to convince me.

23: I watched a horror film last night, I was really scared and stayed under the bed until now.

24: Last week you said you were sick of seeing me, I didn't want to make you ill again.

25: I ran out of coffee, I cant get up without a coffee, hence it's been a week since you've seen me, I think I have bed sores.

26: I didn't feel like crying today.

27: My boyfreind/girlfriend came round I couldn't resist him/her.

28: It was pay day.

29: The pub opened.

30: I couldn't find my way.

31: You made the appointment to early. It takes work to look this good, beauty sleep is imperative.

32: I ran out of cigs, I thought I was going mad.

33: There is only one type of appointment I always remember, and that is to sign on, maybe you'll learn your lesson and send me a reminder.

34: Why didn't you buzz me? I think it's you that didn't want to see me.

35: I thought my key worker died until she showed up and gave me a heart attack, now I'm talking to you from the dead.

36: I had exams.

37: My dog ate my reminder key worker session card.

38: I set the fire alarm off...I mean...it went off!

39: I was giving birth at the exact time of my meeting, I tried to hold it, but nature called!

39: I was talking to Bob.

40: My flat was so messy I couldn't climb over the rubbish. I had to call for mountain rescue!

41: I can't count.

42: The voices in my head told me not to go down. They were very persuasive.

43: My pet python had been discovered by a staff member and had to be disposed of PDQ .

44: I was in college!

45: I was told that I won a free sandwich, and I chose to collect it.

46: Freddy Kruger told me that I can't go!

47: I was possessed!

48: I was bitten by a zombie.

49: I was on a secret mission (oops!)

50: I'd turned into a smurf when I woke up and decided to go out and scare people instead.

51: I was there, but I was invisible.

52: I'm a spy, I cannot tell you where I was!

53: (to the music of afroman) "because i got high" (Conor)

54: Go to the meeting in torn clothes, with ketchup down your arms, and say to the keyworker that "I just sacrificed a chicken. It put up a fight, but I got it in the end!" (Sam Grewer, Active8 Foyer)

55: The evil CITV presenter told me not to go away, i didn't... (Chris Fox)

56: The computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me in kickboxing... (Chris Fox)

57: I fell down the stairs and then suddenly i was woken by a unicorn. Do you think that means anything ? (Sam Grewer, Active8)

58: I'm superman, i had to save the world! No, i didn't really i'm lying... or so you think... (Chris Fox)

59: Run in looking flushed and out of breath, with a slight hint of anger and frustration. Simply shout: BLOODY MONKEYS!!! And shake your fist at a window. (Michael)

60: My fingers got stuck in a plug socket. (Crawley Foyer, Raven)

61: KEY WORKING!!!! Whats that i have never heard of it. (Caz)

62: Sorry i got really lost but i have'nt got time to do it now what about 10 years tomorrow???? (Caz)

63: when your keyworker approaches you about your missed keywork session, look scared and run off screaming about brainwashing and mind control (Sasha Deerans, Chichester Foyer)

64: Was too busy reading the excuses as to why you've missed your keywork session which are posted on the internet. (Suzanne)

65: Was too busy reading the excuses as to why you've missed your keywork session which are posted on the internet. (Bath Foyer Tenant)

66: I run out of clean clothes to wear and did not think it was right to come down with no clothes on. (Dave)

67: I forgot to take my hearing aids out when I was showering and got electrocuted.

68: Well last night I went to bed but this morning when I woke up I was not in the foyer i was in a field. (Bath Foyer Tenant)

69: I was there in mind just not in body. (Bath Foyer Tenant)

70: I went to into the cupboard under the sink in the kitchen. what I was looking for was so far back that I fall in and could not get out again .I had to call out cave rescue. (Bath Foyer Tenant)

71: I lost my tooth brush and could not leave my flat with out brushing my teeth it has take me until now to find it. (Bath Foyer Tenant)

72: I was in Neverland with peter pan (Bath Foyer Tenant)

73: I went to longleat for the day and a rhino sat on me. (Bath Foyer Tenant)

74: I woke up to find a lion in my Flat (Bath Foyer Tenant)

75: O somehow flushed my glasses down the toilet and I could not see to get down to the office. I had to hurt for my other pair which took for ever as i could not see a thing. (Bath Foyer Tenant)

76. I got side tack cleaning my flat ready for flat inspection this afternoon.

77. my bum got stuck to the loo seat when i went to the toilet.

78. on the slip you gave me with the date and time you worte 10am tommrow not today.

79. My best mate had her baby so i decide to go visit her and the new arrival rather than get board out of my miond at a metting with you.

80. i went down town and slip over and fall intyo the river it has taken me until now to get out and get back to the foyer. sorry but i am not going to see you now as i want a nice hot shower and dry clothes to put on.

81. well i have had a bad day. well i went to sing on sat down in the job center and than the man told me that i had a hole in my clothes and everyone could see my bum, run home to get changed when back to the job center to find i had missed my time to sign on so had to phone up the benifit people. i was then on the phone to them for hours.

82. I was amitted to hospital last night and not relasied untill now that why it has been a week seen you last saw me at the foyer.

83. I can't remeber any thing. apart from banging my head 2 weeks ago.

84. I was having really bad PMT

85. I was hurrgy so decide to get some food rather than coming to my meeting.

86. I feel asleep and when i work up I was the other side of the world. i was not sure to strat with if i was dreaming or if it was really untill I heard you shouting though my letter box then i realise i was dream . now i was cross with you as i was happy the other side of the world I am so depressed here.

87. I went to the doctors and they sent me to have a Xray done. it turns out i have broken my leg .

88. I fell down the stairs and now do not have a clue where i am too. i think i am on the moon.

89. I was in my mate flat her and her boy friend where shouting at each other. he went to throw saucepan of boiling hot wather at her. he missed her and hit me i was in to much pain to come.

90. oh sorry i forgot to tell you i have move out oh yeh you better have these back too. (throw keys out them and walk out the office) as you walk out shout thank god i do not have to meet with you again.

91. did not see the point in coming when i am not happy with you and am conplaining to head office about the staff at the foyer

92. when i work up this morning i found that i had turn into a monkey over night.

93. sorry my area manager has required that i attend a store in central london n im leaving in 2 mins

94. sorry went the airport and decided to go away i knows its been a month but i was having more fun than i do here

95. Asda had run out of garlic and broomsticks. Couldn't possibly go without either, I might put myself in danger and I wouldn't want to be you completing the H&S Incident report.

96. Halloween isn't until October and didn't think witches (staff) were allowed out til then. Schedule me in for October 31 so I have time to prepare an excuse not to be there.

97. I woz abducted and held ransom. I got the money - which was £25000. Oh, BTW, I still can't pay the rent!